Turtle Power

Friday, June 23, 2006


Commencing sometime tomorrow is the second Turtle Power/Stone Groove/Listmaker baseball extravaganza. Last year took us to Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. This year, takes us to Indianapolis, Chicago, Detroit, and Pittsburgh. I see lots of baseball and bickering in my future.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The State of the Office

I have always loved the movie "Office Space." But, I have not watched it since I have started my first job after college. The other day, bored at work, I was looking at "Office Space" quotes on IMDB, and the quotes, which I had heard repeated many times became newly funny. I started laughing hysterically at my desk, with tears coming out. I believe that the tears were a combination of laughing so hard, but also from the realization how much these quotes from the movie now resonate with me. These quotes include:

"You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."

Peter Gibbons: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.
Joanna: What's that?
Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: An hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.
Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and...
Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either."

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Obviously, I am not happy at my job. I work customer service at an educational software company, and answer the same mundane questions day in and day out. I decided to write down these calls to represent just how mundane and annoying these questions will get after a year.
Calls over a day and a half:
Three transfers to tech support
Five transfers to someone else in the company
Verify our address
Five calls for our shipping rates
Three calls seeing where a package is
Two calls requesting a copy for an invoice
Two calls asking what the universal name and password is for one of our programs
Is this product OS X Native? (Only 8 of our products are and we constantly have to tell people that we are working on changing all of our products over to Native, but we do not have an exact date at this time.)
What is your vendor number? (The person would need to get this from the school)
Do you have this product in stock?
Does this product run on Windows XP?
Two calls transfering to Sch*olastic, our parent company
Do you have to be a teacher to buy your products?
Two calls asking for our fax number

I'm sure this must be boring to read, and even more boring to answer over and over and over and over.

As I'm sure most of you know, I have decided I am moving to Philadelphia within the next couple of months. I am ready to leave now, but my lease does not run out until September 1, and I need to find a job first. I do not know what I want to do with my life, but I have decided that a desk job is not for me right now. So, I just need to get through the next couple of months without going insane at this job that I hate!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Congratulations Clifford

Yesterday morning, my coworker Andrew (or Clifford) had a baby boy, named Clifford, Jr (or Joshua.) No word yet on whether the baby resembles a giant red dog.