Turtle Power

Thursday, December 01, 2005

'Tis the season to hate being Jewish

Ah, December. The weather starts getting a bit colder, marking that the official start of winter is soon to come. It is also the time when excitement hangs in the air because Christmas is just a few weeks away. Christmas lights start coming up on houses. Trees are put for sale. While for many this is "the most wonderful time of the year", I consistently dread this holiday.

As a kid going to school with very few Jewish people, I always felt like a bit of an outsider because of this. At the beginning of every school year, we would get two days off within weeks of each other. Most kids would be delighted by this. But not me. Instead of getting to play and enjoy my days off school, I was subjected to torture: a High Holiday service at synagogue lasting hours, and which were quite possibly the most boring things ever. I envied my classmates who could enjoy their days off, while I was subjected to stupid temple!

But what I most envied my non-Jew friends for was the fact that they got to celebrate Christmas. They got to decorate Christmas trees with their family. They got to wake up at the crack of dawn on Christmas day and excitedly run down the stairs to open presents. While Hanukkah was fun and all, it was nothing compared to Christmas. (Although the Hanukkah where our cat Mittens set his tail on fire from the Hanukkah candles was a pretty good one.)

Since I have "grown up", I've done my best to jump on the Christmas bandwagon. Freshman year, my roommate and I had a "sexmas" tree where our ornaments were condoms. And now, Allie and I have a Christmassy plant with lights in our apartment. But its not the same as a real Christmas celebrated with family. So what's the solution? I need to find a nice non-Jewish boy to marry so I can finally attain my lifelong dream of celebrating Christmas just like most everyone else.

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